Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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