OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
