so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
