Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
