Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
