weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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