Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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