i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Let's get the cat blown out
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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