When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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