He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
