So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
did you just send me my own nude
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize