He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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