I CAN MOONWALK!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize