For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
