Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
