Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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