I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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