So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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