i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
As shirtless as possible
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
