wakey wakey hands off snakey
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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