this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
