At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We got so high we made milksteak
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Im part way to drunk.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
