I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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