is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
ok first of all what the fuck
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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