We're facebook friends in real life
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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