So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
