You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
