I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Please don't give away my fajitas
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
