So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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