Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
