just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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