You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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