I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
