do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
