If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
