East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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