don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i dont even know how to be here
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
