i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
