i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
