He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize