I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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