Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
