His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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