well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize