When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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