i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
