If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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