Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We were destined to go to rehab together
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
