Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
