Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
