so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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