There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
sex in a hospital.. check
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
