Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
