Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
