I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
