I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
