I just saw a hot homeless man
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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