I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
