The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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