You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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