just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
